Tuesday, August 23, 2005

1,305 more words...

I found some words! I actually got into a zone where I wasn't paying attention to word count or page count...I need to keep this in mind, that this is what I'm striving for. At some point recently I stopped expecting to become involved in the WIP, I stopped expecting to lose myself in it. And so of course my motivation went down - that's part of the joy of writing, when you forget everything else. Now I feel my motivation is partially back. Until tomorrow of course, mwah hah hah (that's my evil internal 'you can't write' voice laughing, FYI)

I have conscious knowledge that if I just start writing, things will usually fall into place...but somehow when I'm anxious about writing it's hard to 'know' that. Or doing the first few sentences/paragraphs, thinking "this doesn't work this doesn't work." I just have to be consistent with pushing myself - and also consistent with not beating myself up if I only wrote 200 words today...I KNOW that the past few weeks of being disciplined helped me write more today. It's as if there is something missing when I don't write as much as I normally do. Something nags at my brain, not because I feel bad or because I'm making myself guilty for not writing that much...it's because not writing is not part of the routine anymore. Thank heavens.

I was just talking to my mom tonight, telling her how writing, even if I'm not directly writing about my problems, is great therapy. And it is. I'm thankful for that, since I can't afford a psychologist, LOL.

84,433 words total.


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