NaNoWriMo Day Two

Day Two of NaNoWriMo. A little bit more productive today, but I'm finding the habit of not writing for several weeks at a time very detrimental to the health of my budding writing 'career' (I'll call it a career since...well...I don't really have one...and yes I AM an adult...physically, anyway XD) Today I am sitting, dazing, writing a little, dazing some more...so it's hard to get back into the routine I had going so well earlier this year.

I'm enjoying the writing though, it's a different feel from what I was going for before. Now I am reading the words, not just flying past them, I am thinking about sentences instead of just pushing them out of my brain (sometimes the quality doesn't seem to change much) and I find myself finding new ways of saying the same ole thing which I guess is nice. I don't mind the couple minutes 'stall' if something good comes of it on the page.

Why do I sound so ambivalent? Cuz I am. I've grown up all my life with the idea of being "a writer." And it's just weird. It's just not natural. I've begun to question the validity of this as a lifestyle; damn, I need motivation retraining or something. Motivation Bootcamp. Hopefully Nano will help. It's not really the writing or not writing anyway. It's my life in general - I should write to combat this feeling of "not going anywhere."

Already last night I started fiddling around with my 900-so words. Rewriting the whole entire first paragraph in present tense, when the rest of the piece is in past tense, totally screwing up the whole intention of the 9 or so paragraphs I wrote after that. So I clicked "Undo" in Word about 50 times, saved as an edited version, and went back to the previous version to write on. And I cut and paste a little. I am NOT going to get stuck editing things which then mean having to fix eveerrrryything else, or having two drafts of the same piece that I have to sew together somehow. Notgonnadoit!!

I thought I'd be working on two drafts this month - the first draft for NaNo and the rewrite of my first draft. But I quickly lost steam after plotting out the rewrite; now I have a scene list I can work off of, keeping in mind the 'original' characters...but basically it's a whole new book, and I don't feel like dealing with that right now. I'd rather play The Sims. Talk about addiction....